Soulard's Online Notebook 2012
january 9, 2012
8:05 p.m.
bikeway donutshop - my table
arlington, massachusetts
what's funny with updating a website is that sometimes you take an old page and make a copy to use for the new one you intend to create . . . last year's online notebook began earlier than this one by a day, 2010's the same day, 2009's a day later . . . once a year for many years now I begin a new year of this journal, and many entries are short, done hurriedly between one thing and another . . . this too, but not quite . . .
first off, added some more archives to the radio page: 4/7/2007, 4/14/2007, & 4/21/2007 . . . also restored ten shows that had at some point been lost for awhile: 10/10/2004, 10/17/2004, 10/24/2004, 11/07/2004, 11/14/2004, 11/22/2004, 11/28/2004, 12/12/2004, 12/19/2004, & 12/26/2004 . . . so that's good . . .
my job is going well, better than jobless, but news that my two colleagues and not I have been hired full-time . . . once again I am kept a rental, though 2012 I hope to end this fact . . . begin this year without my friend Jim Burke within a phone call's reach, yet he occupies my mind in a way he didn't before, strange to say, and sad to say . . . he was so always present I didn't think of him not being so, especially since his parents have lived so long . . . I am writing a lot right now, less certain of my publishing projects . . . and yet, here is this new page of this site, and the radio returns this coming weekend, and I spent hours this weekend sorting old Jellicle Guild tape recordings . . . I like carrying things along, and renewing them when it is needed . . . there's something in this I believe is good and potent . . .
january 12, 2012
10:25 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
updated radio page for first show of 2012 . . . been of better spirits lately, not sure why, but it could be that writing Bags End News again is helping . . . reaching back, reading the notebooks from back when, connecting then to now . . . loveliness, and a hope that is a deep, deep drink . . .
january 21, 2012
11:52 a.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
radio page updated, no other changes made, I've been I guess still finishing up 2011 in a way, mostly finding traction, not always, there will be new updates of content soon, but this month is getting things ready for the new year's new work . . . which isn't exactly putting it right . . . but more soon . . .
january 28, 2012
12:50 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
This weekend's broadcast is my radio show's 13th anniversary, this is a strange to say thing, and I can say happily the cassette recordings of the old shows from RFC and ABFR are now gathered in one heavy well stored bin, to be brought out and mixed in anew over time . . . 13 years and ongoing for a project is reason to be proud . . .also, this weekend, a long weeks' stretch at Bags End News is reaching toward its conclusion tonight, happy to have devoted this new time to this project as well . . .
february 3, 2012
8:04 p.m.
panera bread - downstairs armchairs
arlington, massachusetts
Updated radio page, this weekend a break from the project . . . slowly working the year into a productive mode, january has been good for getting my head cohered . . . and, frankly, sitting with my Bags End News notebook has been sweet . . . more soon of various kinds . . .
february 11, 2012
12:44 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
updated radio page . . . finished that Bags End News massive story . . . but now onto new poems and new fixtion and new publications . . . waiting on job news, and will keep waiting till end of month . . . at least going along all in all . . . more soon . . .
february 18, 2012
12:57 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
radio is page is now updated, and i've got hours of writing ahead today, sweetness . . . work has begun on Cenacle 80 and Scriptor Press Sampler 13 . . . so press is riling up anew . . . now if my job will just go full-time, maybe I can make some full-on progress for a fair stretch . . .
february 25, 2012
1:10 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
radio page is updated, show is on . . . but more than that, I've had a struggling week, not knowing the fate of my job, just drowning in worry, and the feeling that I don't fucking matter again enough for a company to commit to me, just a rented fucking tool . . . but then from a weird angle I came to look at the hurt all around, the sometimes blatant, but often very subtle pain all around . . . and with my words I can do something toward healing it . . . I have a gift and it's for me, for my life's meaning and pleasure, but it's for more than that . . . and I think I've known this before, nudged against it, but then I get weak and self-obsessed, my pain only . . . but I think it might stick this time . . . I just need to figure out how it works better . . . because while I can write, I cannot wield its healing aspects very well at all . . . it lays as my challenge, my work . . .
march 4, 2012
9:50 p.m.
quality inn
denver, colorado
traveling these past few days to see kin-in-law, was fun, getting away from the grind, mundane as that sounds, just now getting radio work done for this past weekend's Encore Weekend . . . not sure how my job will be once back, my status is fairly unknown . . . so much pen and press work to be done too . . . i'd just like to feel better than i have of late at times, the want needs to have teeth for the better steps to be walked . . .
march 10, 2012
12:31 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Updated radio page, running late on it, no other updates today or in awhile . . . working on new Sampler, though not as far along as I wish, and I don't know what of the next Cenacle . . . still struggling in my head, still better and worse moments in plenty both . . . still trying to move the scale in better favor . . .
march 24, 2012
11:46 a.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Working on the next Cenacle this week, it's slow to assemble but it's assembling, back in touch with some friends locally, more intended . . . spring thaw is my theme these days . . . contract job holds promise of full-time though it is not a done deal at all . . . working the angles, every one I can think of, walking the never-ending humble path . . . updated radio page for this weekend, closer to on time, not there yet . . . and writing, which is always the sign of hope whatever the gloom about . . .
march 31, 2012
12: p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
This week made good progress on Cenacle and Sampler and wrote and worked the good fuck out of my pay job trying to make it stick . . . it tired me, I was deflated by the end, but still I know the work needs the constant effort, even full out it's still hungry for more time and attention . . . so be it, with stumbles, but so be it . . . updated radio page too . . .
april 7, 2012
12:25 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Still working on next Cenacle, starting to type crazy, which is a good sign . . . pay job is till uncertain, whether finite contract or full-time on and on . . . spring is nicely cool and budding again . . . updated radio page, again not fully on time . . . nearing birthday, for whatever that might mean, hoping better than worse this time around . . . lastly, passed 14th anniversary of this site, just a few days ago . . . so much accumulates over time, keep heart's eye on the good . . .
april 14, 2012
12:36 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
This weekend major work on new Cenacle, and new Sampler too, also updated radio page, the word shambolic progress occurs to me as a good description of how it's going . . . just keep swinging, one way and another, just keep swinging, and take the hits when they come . . .
april 29, 2012
8:05 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Cenacle | 80 | April 2012 is finished & will soon be distributed online & in print, it's a good issue, first in six months . . . likewise, the first Jellicle Literary Guild meeting occurred yesterday, on my birthday, went very well, felt really good . . .
Additionally, long overdue, did yearly check of the site's links: lit links are all good; on the psychedelic links page, deleted The Anti-Drug and R6XX (both dead links), and updated The Grow Report, and SpiritPlants Radio links . . .
Finally, back to the radio, added four new radio archives entries: for 9/6/2008, 9/13/2008, 9/20/2008, & 9/27/2008 . . . the new issue of The Cenacle will be up very soon . . .
may 4, 2012
11:07 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Cenacle | 80 | April 2012 is not yet released, this weekend will be it, there was a printer problem now solve . . . radio page is updated, early for once . . . there will be more press work on this site soon, quite soon . . . still working pay job, still on the beam . . .
may 12, 2012
11:49 a.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Updated my Labyrinthine fixtion on site to include all of Parts One to Six . . . I am into writing Part Seven, well into it, and am glad the complete previous parts are now up . . . updated radio page too . . . working on Sampler still, close to done, and also eventually getting old old Jellicle Guild meeting highlights up on site . . . if you're reading this, stay tuned, come back now and again . . .
may 18, 2012
7:56 p.m.
arlington center - starbucks cafe
arlington, massachusetts
Well, dang, here it is Friday night and the radio page is updated, and the station is ready for a weekend run of shows . . . I tried on all fronts really fucking hard this week, kept pushing myself as pen, press, payjob, it was good, like the good feeling turns into an echo that makes it more deeper . . . new Sampler is pretty close to done, should be posted online very soon . . . writing a fair amount in all . . . some sweet nights at Harvard Sq Au Bon Pain Cafe courtyard of late . . . not perfection, but the results begin to reveal themselves, happily . . . even six weeks to joblessness is not felling me for the moment . . .
may 26, 2012
1:06 p.m.
home
arlington, massachusetts
Hm, back to updating radio page while show is going, will try better again next week . . . shows four weekends running, and one more before a break . . . but enjoying it, especially now reading Bags End News is a part of the deal . . . finally into the printing on the new Cenacle and Sampler, latter of these to be posted here very soon . . .
Job may be ending in a month, not sure, will find out soon, hoping that I can have a better run of job hunting days than past times . . . been doing better lately in many ways, little and bigger . . . kind of a prep for the summer jobless run if it comes . . .
june 2, 2012
1:02 pm
home
arlington, ma
Updated radio page, working all around, there will be new results to report soon . . .
june 7, 2012
2:48 pm
coney island hot dogs
worcester, ma
passing through worcester for a couple of days, to see the opening two shows of Phish's 2012 summer tour . . . my first Phish show was back in Nov 98 in worcester, and this old school cafeteria joint i used to come to once in a great while when the greyhound station was right next door…so it's funny that my two Worcester references come together this many years later…joint has no changed, that's the way they like it, the smiling man behind the counter said…ah memory, sometimes it can be sweet….
june 16, 2012
3:36 pm
home
arlington, ma
updated radio page, later than usual, the good news from the week is that the distribution of Cenacle 80, while late, is concluded, and Sampler 13 is getting around & will more in time . . . work on Cenacle 81 has begun in all seriousness, and the 6/30/2012 JG cards have been mailed . . . job hunting more lately as interest in waning job, wanes . . . it's hard to care like the rest when come July I am jobless & none of them are . . . it's not fair, nobody said it would be, but it isn't . . . best I can do is use the time & money more wisely than not . . .
june 23, 2012
1:03 pm
home
arlington, ma
finished my second to last week of work, pretty much no enthusiasm left for it, just want it over with at this point since it's a lost thing . . . on the nice side of things, been working with Occupy Boston Radio (obr.fm) to get their system, process, tools, up to a good functional level . . . and they're getting there slowly . . . it's fun to see a project like this come together, really come together . . . updated my radio show's page . . . next week is first full Jellicle Guild meeting since last October's disastrous one, and I am working pretty constantly on Cenacle 81 showing up finished & on time there . . . that will be almost my entire focus for this stretch of days . . . better than just bitterness at job might-have-beens . . .
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