Soulard"s Online Notebook 2005
january 8, 2005
11:35 a.m.
seattle, washington
weeks of working at various projects coming to fruition slowly...this morning the happy news is the additions of scriptor press sampler | 1 | 1999 & scriptor press sample | 5 | 2003, the newest & oldest of the samplers...they took a lot of work but there they are for the having now...
new year, vowing toward better employment & greater involvement, these things happen over time, & i suspect relate to each other...grateful to have the stability i do with KD, never wish to take this for granted...world is too harsh & arbitrary at times to do so...
january 20, 2005
12:32 p.m.
seattle, washington
this morning added to radio show archives the shows from 01/09/05, 12/26/04, 11/22/04, 11/14/04, 11/07/04, & 10/24/04, so now the most recent 9 shows are available…lotta work…adding content to this site a longer task than adding new links hehe…
got sick this past weekend, it was stress, cold weather, i dunno…KD was a brilliant beautiful nurse even as she took care of me on her birthday…last night at bookstall job nearly lost it, too many drones & sheep to stand…then…i didn"t…decided i didn"t have to lose it, that nobody around me was sweating blood, why should i? no reason…turned my thoughts to matters of real import, like getting a better job…that helped too…
february 8, 2005
6:01 p.m.
seattle, washington
after months of work, finally finished and added to site Cenacle 53 October 2004...it"s a good issue, has some new poems by my friend Jude in Israel, and a letter from my friend Burke on the East Coast US, and several collages KD and I made recently...and a lot of my writing too, heh...
KD"s knee went out on her recently and she had to travel to midwest to her family"s hometown to get it operated on...i miss her a lot, but been working a lot to compensate for her absence...we"re working on a plan for Burning Man 2005, looks hopeful...
still working on jobhunting thing...wondering if the corporate world in Seattle is just too much in too many ways to break through...i"m sure there are out here people and places whose values are similar to KD"s and mine, and who are running businesses that work...to find those people is the challenge...
it"s been some time since i used to rant in these journals on the state of the world...it"s easy for thinking people to fear things are simply getting worse...they seem to be doing so...scientists warn that environment is in peril, others worry about the bush regime"s continuing plans to rob the poor to give to the rich...i don"t know, i don"t have a lot of smart things to say save society tends to swing back and forth and i"m hopeful that the shift back is coming...the left is organizing like crazy, and even conservatives look at bush like he"s the loon many of us knew he was all along...you can only hurt the little guy for so long, rob his wallet and sense of self-dignity before something good and decent embedded in the souls of people will stand up to you and begin to knock you back...
march 7, 2005
7:49 p.m.
antioch university
seattle, washington
waiting for KD while she"s at class, i fixed the site"s guestbook problem...the old guestbook was not working right...put in a new one from a new source...first site change in awhile...i"ve plans for more, just taking time to get them ready...
still jobhunting, nibbles every so often but nothing yet...i keep thinking that it"s about to happen, and still think that, dunno why, but i do...the day of release from low pay jobs is near...
i lost my folder of recent journal entries on the bus to work last weekend...about 3 months of them in that folder...then joy of joy i called the lost & found and the folder was there...happiness...it"s getting very spring-feeling here...i bear hope about with me choicelessly...better here, better anon...
march 12, 2005
8:15 a.m.
seattle, washington
this morning gave the "Scriptor Press Authors" Library" a proper title and to it added the first dozen of New Songs (for Kassandra), my post-6 x 36 Nocturnes series...begun originally to see if I could write a poem a day for a year, but then that was too exhausting and gimmicky, and the poems began to tire and same...so i"ve continued at a slower pace since...they are thus not mixed or a story per se, intentionally being let to find their own way, i think more acoustic, though still my nutty brain and hand writing them...heh...
yesterday it was announced that the bookstore i work at is closing in july...i did not react well to this...told, then had to do an eight hour shift and make like all was fine...all is not fine...i am angry, bitter, and scared...options of working at others of the store"s local chain, collecting unemployment, i don"t know, none of it appeals to me...how often in this site"s near 7 year history have i posted about a job ending...2001, 2002, 2004, now 2005...work runs out or money or the company itself...
this time another person is directly affected by this and that worries me most of all...my beloved is depending on me to get things right so her life is stable and protected...i had a low pay job, not much glory, but steady as long as i showed up...suddenly it bombs out...my thoughts mostly if not all to protect her...protect her and my art...that"s it...more soon, i hope better...
april 15, 2005
9:01 a.m.
seattle, washington
this morning added the second dozen of the New Songs (for Kassandra)…this series has been going on now for over three months, and about 48 of them in all…they are somewhat overwhelming in moments like the Nocturnes were, but more acoustic…i work on them pretty much daily, letting them come, urging them come… added a link for them to the site"s main page since, being a work in progress, it seems good to highlight their place among other works…
this site is now 7 years old…i"m not sure what brought me to work on it this morning, but in doing so noticed the anniversary had come around again…it"s a good site for recent work, making so many pieces easy to download in PDF format…simply reassuring to a degree that it exists…i lived another life when it began from the promptings of an ad on the SciFi channel in april "98, another coast, another world, i"m glad it"s kept along…
site maintenance note: currently, the files for my "within"s within" radio show are not available as their host is doing some upgrading work…will be back soon…
mostly working on new issue of the cenacle, and trying to find a better job, this latter has obsessed me for months now, and i"ve gotten close in a few instances, but nothing yet…my bookstore job will move into the city soon if nothing else breaks, but i truly hope something does…KD & i have a relationship strong enough to endure this effort, but the reward is long-yearned and will be sweetly enjoyed for sure…other than the magazine and the hunt, i write and i spend hours silly and profound both with KD…burning man begins to pend as it does annually, not sure how we will get there, but we have our tickets and we always make it one way or another…i suppose that"s all for now…more soon, as always…
april 21, 2005
1:03 p.m.
seattle, washington
there are two pieces of news to report here today…this morning another visible step forward, as posted to this site is Scriptor Press Sampler | 6 | 2004…another long-in-coming publication, finally done & ready to be downloaded & read by all…
the second bit of news came just a few minutes ago…i"ve been offered an editor"s job at a company in Seattle…after months of trying on a daily basis, of hopes raised & fallen over many possibilities, finally! good luck comes! i think this is the first full-time job i"ve had since working at harvard business school publishing, and that is going back nearly four years…all the ones since have been part-time or temp or i"ve been jobless…true excitement……
it"s near my 41st birthday, a year since i moved back here, and it took the length of this year to get this far, but i did, and i did, and i did, and it was not i alone in the least…my beloved KD has been with me unflinchingly every single day & night, never doubting me or us…it was for her that i did that as well as for me…she believes in me in a way that i cannot simply express…happiness this moment, happiness…
may 18, 2005
9:00 p.m.
seattle, washington
o happiness in the telling that The Cenacle | 54 | 2005 is finished & on this site at last...10th anniverary issue…there have been 42 issues in that time...getting this done was quite an effort & a lovely victory...i decided the next issure will not be til october...for time to do new burning man books and catch up many other projects…
work at new job goes well...it"s like a data managment job, cross between editing and data entry...eh, it pays well, and it"s a step big up from where i was and that was one big one up too...
going to meet KD"s folks in the midwest this weekend...how far travelled too from just a couple of years ago and the dirty drama of once...the world is still twinging with the frantic swings of the little king but his power is waning...everywhere it"s visible...ozymandias raging in an empty desert...
june 8, 2005
8:23 a.m.
seattle, washington
some housekeeping this week...corrected "within"s within" time on its page since it"s on saturdays now, not sundays...also fixed this main page and this page which both had garbage text on them...have to keep the place clean, heh...
visit with KD kinfolk went alright, she"s from a very small town, blink you miss it kind, saw her dad"s cattle operation...impressive and alien both to my eyes...he seems very proud and i think should be...
work goes alright...stressy, isolating at times, but the checks are good and that"s why i show up...that"s why i"m gonna get cleaned up this morning and get along there...nights and weekends mean camping trips, once we get KD"s car...and Burning Man on less of a shoestring budget...and the Portland Zine Symposium next month...it serves its need, this job, and i have my motivations clear for doing it...
lastly, go to this site to see the group i sought funding from for my BM bookstore...and my project proposal is at this page ...their process is by those, anyone, who register to vote in election...we came in 14th place out of about 45...we"ll see if it comes to money then...
june 10, 2005
1:05 p.m.
work
seattle, washington
the radio page here updated again, i"m working on getting more archives posted, but the change today on the page is posting the "next show" information, so that there is updated information on the page...i"m really happy this has finally happened...the archives will take longer but will go up...
working m-f day long is a challenge but it"s going alright...kd and i are working toward burning man project and other ideas, like moving to a better apartment, one where the management is not ass top to bottom...
i haven"t put up the link to it yet, but i recommend strongly listening to Air America Radio on your local AM radio or on the net...progressives with balls, long needed, and arrived at last!
june 23, 2005
9:31 p.m.
home
seattle, washington
tonight posted this coming weekend"s radio show information, and also added Air America to the Alternative news links...wishing even by such postings to post more often, keep more in touch with this site than in awhile...Scriptor Press is going to the Portland Zine Symposium in early August, and is listed at their site at http://www.pdxzines.com/tabling...
work is steady, my contract gig pends to become full time if i am able to snag it...KD and i are starting our wedding preparations, two weddings, one for her family in the midwest, one for mine in the east...
planning on posting a lot more New Songs and soon...tonight rousing up to this effort again...and Burning Man soon :)
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