"The way things work
is that eventually
something catches."
—Jorie Graham, 1996.
i. For Lisa Marie
Beyond shine, beyond blue fancy,
my fingers touch yours, eyes on eyes,
lips on lips, a mile crushed, many,
marry me, marry me. Your teasing laugh.
Your kindness. Your ferocity. Your pain.
Nothing in this world exists. I love you.
******
ii. Thanksgiving (for Lisa Marie)
No music to share yet tonight, not
tonight, no hook into its rumble,
no trail of ash unto its flame. Claws
undrawn, rage in a box with no walls,
empty streets, ceasing trains. I love you,
marry me. Marry me.
"Yes," you say. "Always."
The least thought matters, marry me,
marry me. A choice, a truth. A magick.
A gleam, a way. A kitten in our bed
kneads your breast. I trace my hand on
your belly as you drift. You dream. You moan.
You seize me. I love you.
"Yes," you say. "Always."
Our prayer tonight a white butterfly,
returned to you from a forgotten star.
Now a candle, now a scent, now the song
we are learning to share. Your pink
gown is our hunger. My blue suit our embrace.
Marry me, marry me.
"Yes," you say. "Always."
******
iii. Adoration
Preach. Teach. Heal. Diminishing
to a road, a daisy.
Trust the instincts when pursuing tribe &
meat. Question otherwise, doubt,
laugh, scratch. Give more.
Preach, teach, heal. Elements of a book,
a song. Forget the words. The tune matters.
All is path. I will follow you. A coming day,
beyond following. All is path. Body clothed
in lace, beauty so, never forget her laugh.
Preach. Teach. Heal. A life insistent
at sucking, strewing. Scatters every night.
Raindrops. No names. Bliss. Thank you.
Days of work & love, too, laughter
on empty beaches. Chocolate.
Preach. Teach. Heal. Get a shower.
Put on your boots. Get to work.
******
iv. Autumn Passage (for Lisa Marie)
To play one true note, true as a leaf's cycle,
true as a full moon floating in a merry-clouded
sky, true as our child's songs of cookies &
teapots, & rowboat dreams, true as once &
forevermore, true, true, one true note, true
enough to linger on between living borders, among
giggling bones, witted dreams, to play one true
note undeniable to king & guru, a throb of
blood to disturb dry, wordy wars, one true note,
a moan, a mumble, to capture the words &
reinvent the world, one true note, several,
compose a thrumming kiss, wrap it in crimson,
bounce it to you by way of merry-clouded full
moon, true, true, one true note, play one
true note with me, love, we'll make a song,
become a door, an open door, our hands
to wage Beauty, our thighs to make noisy
maps unto healing, to play one true note
even when the raw empty arms of trees
are truest, when love seems more rupture
than gestation, to play, howl, & bleed one true
note til what we share bridges all we
have lost, to bright & bounce & realize we
are someone from somewhere, point through
the sky to some dot once our home. Whistle
if you love me. Sigh if you don't. I've been
waiting to love you all my life. Songs
of cookies & teapots. Rowboat dreams.
I saw my scripture burn to life at last as
you brushed your dark hair, true note, true note,
you are my true note in these daysless times
when I watch squirrels twitch & hop across
leafy streets, when I remember my life & wonder
what remains, something remains, a true note,
one true note, here is my pen & my purse,
here is my heart, here is my hand. Here is my dream of home.
******
v. Love & Peace (for Lisa Marie)
Love & peace. Anger. Dandelions. Words spiked
& those muddied. With every moment,
the snowstorm clarifies, it ripples.
Love & peace. There must be music every hour.
A hand in darkness touches a hand,
question, smile, sigh. Music always.
Love & peace. Ever there is war, ever
there is laughter. Everyone evolves,
no losers. Transcendence. Ice cream.
Love & peace. The tired talk of daddies &
mammas. The new talk of dancers &
phreaks. What's going on? Do you know?
Love & peace. Enough to suggest a world,
a model for hands to grasp. Release brings
the true flame, what kings & preachers cannot abide.
******
vi. Ceremony (for Lisa Marie)
"We've got to come alive and aware."
—D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover, 1928
i. Ceremony
Tonight, my love, I approach you, by flare,
by crackle, brush of feather, twist of pen,
I approach you, hands opened to a sugared
sky, eyes bright with the hunger of a dream,
I approach you with a heart sturdy as a plank,
with a mind trembly as an ocean breeze.
We mate as tender things melt in the sun,
as outlaws crouch by a fire warming meat,
as a bald preacher starves toward staying union,
as a slumbering beast shifts, & nears its bearing time,
as the king crushes a trio of mushrooms under foot,
as the universe dreams, dissipates, resurrects.
I approach you, tonight, my love, with
laughter, laughter, neither truth nor lie.
***
ii. Birds
Brush of feathers in a sugared night-sky,
a branch no hand has ever grasped,
a cloud no poem has ever remarked,
one, two, a flock, no hands to reach for
eternity & settle for lips, bricks, paintbrushes—
no hands to ball, to stroke, to craft, to grasp.
***
iii. Fleshspace
Butterflies from fire swoon the night, crystal
ecstasy aflame, flip & flash of recovered
sight, symbiosis of heart blood & bone,
alone & alive in the world, a beginning.
A gift. How good. A beginning. Now learn
to walk, now pass along to water, to stone.
Now bear an axe, now build a house.
Now feel your heart, now seek a wife.
Now study the fields, now become a seed.
Now cradle your young, now teach her your songs.
Now meet among the trees, tribe & drums.
Now bury your questions, & close your eyes.
***
iv. Eros
Tonight, my love, & I wonder if any
question is the key, if any fence cut
or wall fell would reveal red leaves,
golden shadows, unguarded eyes.
Once we walked a city street, handed
prayers to the poor, crumbs to
creatures chirping, mewing. Your laughter
taught me new music I could not write
down, music of your smirk, music of your
young breast. Music of sugar & kindness.
No question. No fence. No wall.
Build a house. Become a seed. Close your eyes.
Tonight, my love, teach me to disappear
into your heart, tap & reveal a butterfly
from each of your fingers. Tonight, my love,
teach me the pathless way from our pressed
loins to the stars. The way there & back.
***
v. Artist's Prayer to His Muse
I seek the singer to become her song,
become the pen she wields, become
the clay she presses. Yours, alive & aware.
I seek you, my muse, my love, to become
the red leaves, the golden shadows,
the unguarded eyes. Laughter, neither truth nor lies.
***
vi. Muse's Prayer to Her Artist
Broken world, my love, learn from me
to heal it. Language of feathers,
songs of water, scriptures of stone.
Move to a new drumbeat, the disorder
of dancers in a field. Tell them all for me:
the truth reveals nothing but ashes at dawn.
Perfect world, my pilgrim. Red leaves,
goldenshadows, unguarded eyes.
The next birth, blood as fierce as always.
Another union, howls of surprise & remembrance.
Grow from the sky, grasp the soil, praise men & stars:
You are always home. You are always home.
******
vii. Frigid
Something happened. A man walked
down the street, smiling at nothing.
Perhaps crackles smartly at the thought
of his true love. Perhaps trembles & stiffens
at the thought of trees dressed in flags,
winter puzzled over like a scripture by the hungry king.
Something happened. A pretty woman laughed
& teased the air. Wisdom sometimes best
collects in puddles & shadows. O yes.
The air white with youth's hurry,
the frigid of solstice soil, hearts in need
tonight no matter the map or governance.
Something happened. A guru sat up
stiffly, a muse caressed & flowed,
the cold restrained its storm. Hunger
prepared her bed, drew her curtains,
I wielded my pen ever knowing not how.
Something happened. Do we know love
better or war? A kiss disputes
battlefield's claims. Every leaf remaining
a remembrance toward the next green
world. Bundled & crafty, tonight
I choose to praise not dispute.
Something happened. Bald fires,
a warrior's ideas. I keep wondering
what the trees are doing. I keep wishing
more of us would wonder. Then I hear
a woman's laugh & the night is
full of hooks & tunes again.
Something happened. The pain of
every day since, every day ever,
love, love, rupture & gestation.
Yet tonight a reason to summon the coach.
A woman's laugh, & the frigid diminishes,
& the trees still with us, & we're learning to learn.
******
viii. Resistance
Sing a new world into existence,
no delay, no linger, sing!
A butterfly, a cannon, a smoke
of kisses. Make, destroy, your song
matters in this broken world. Your
doubt matters. Your hands. Your dream.
Sing a world wrapped in crimson,
drowned in thunder, crowned in green.
Now a rifle for your fears, now a baby,
now a basket of apples, now a cloud,
now a girl's laughter. Sing with torch
of words, thump of flesh.
Sing your questions, then bury them
deep, close your eyes, feel creation
roar from your fingers & thighs,
sing! & sing! Where blankness shimmers,
utter a war, or a city, or a single branch
where nests a sparrow, growls a lynx.
Sing a wave to lead the outlaws,
pipes & puffs & leaping flickers to
oppose the king. Sing a better king,
a pilgrim unto cosmos, a leading
servant unto oaks & stars. Sing
a lengthless night of candles & eros.
Sing the wilder music no easy hand
may play, music culled from
desert & despair, music that clicks
with scorpion's reach, music a rage
& ecstasy inside a box with no walls,
no sky, no earth, no scripture. Sing! Howl!
Sing a new world til something flickers,
a butterfly with fangs, a preacher's
moan of woods & wings. Sing the touch
in darkness of one hand within another,
a new solstice, immolation. Drowned in thunder,
crowned in green. Sing until your glory catches.
******
ix. Winter Solstice (for Lisa Marie)
Burn, candle. Romance the night. Shatter
this song's heart. Shatter everything.
Torch my fingers, call it love. Burn, candle.
Twist my heart with steel & mercy. Burn.
Help me unsheave the I in me, the us in me,
by rampage, by gleam. By whisper & roar.
Burn, candle. Teach me again the one true
note, the collision, the way, the end.
Shatter my fury. Shatter my empathy.
Make unto ash my memories, & those
of the world. Scorch the cold fields, their
murmuring seeds. Every army. Every dawn. Every touch.
Burn, candle. World brooding hungrily
about thee, dwindle its wish. Dwindle
& dust. Burn, candle. Brush flickers
by my love, her fingers, her laughter,
her magickal sight. Release her singing,
her ink & her moans. Tremble. Burn.
Burn, candle. Shatter my heart, shatter
my instrument, shatter my ground & sky.
Whisper fierce truths will melt in the spring,
leave their stain in the belly, thump anew
by full moon. Burn, candle. Melt fiercely
like new love. Glow strangely like true love.
Burn, candle. Burn! Forests & herds, silos,
& small beds. The dull faces of pilgrims,
fresh-fucked with prayer. The glee & softness
of lovers, wet among berries & lace.
Candle, burn, candle, preach! Suck the air
of the king, same as that of the outlaw.
Burn, candle. Watch us move in procession,
in pairs, in gangs, & alone. Gentle our
flight with thine glow & thine light. Burn
as we do, like a fist, & then teach us
let go. Teach us to shatter our song
as we sing it. How to blank past suffering.
How to blank everything.
******
x. Winter Solstice [continued]
(for Lisa Marie)
How to bless everything. A craving, a vine
a candle. The spoken. The sung. The silent.
Laugh! Wakeup! Ecstasy!
Rhythms tap toward crescendoes, of light
& leaves. The actress smooth to the preacher's
eye. A crisis in scripture. Her voice in the dark.
Night lifts & revolts, flame of lamps &
full moans. Bless everything! Burn with
faith from the ditch. Burn, candle. Continue.
Holy emptiness, the artist's maybe. Then
three strokes light an eye. Three more:
a heart beating. And three more: a world cradled.
Cold fields, & murmuring seeds. Building
sunshine, raising song. Blood of panting,
blood of colors. Now running & rising.
Bless everything! Witches & crows. Laws for
love & believing. Now a mystery. Now a mercy.
What moves one toward another.
******
xi. Winter Solstice [concluded]
(for Lisa Marie)
Teach us let go, we do not know how.
Teach us to praise everything, the glowing
rubble in cities, the lingering music of
other days, prodding dreams, growling loins.
Teach us to shatter, eyesight & physics,
to believe beyond faith, crawl beyond
texts, wonder at ways of fur, leaves,
fins & wings. Wonder blindly & laugh.
What moves one toward another in the
heavy air & bursting earth.
Ask the preacher: he frowns & eludes.
Ask the king: he offers numbers.
Ask the artist: he slinks & hums.
Ask the muse: she smiles & stirs.
A greater music, a greater silence,
a giggling blindness beyond stories
repeated in castles & slums. One mind
dances, understands, tells another,
tells a third. Rejoice! All is maya!
Feed your best into the fire!
Teach us praise everything, we do not
know how. Teach us flow & discard
our thirst. Teach us blindness that
we may touch. Teach us that there
is no news, & never was.
What moves one toward another
a trembling heavy, sometimes light.
Light the candle: watch it hover.
Regard the landscape: its lack of lack.
Sing up to the sky in its completeness.
Begin to laugh. Begin to shimmer.
A greater music, a greater silence:
Contrive the thing you must release.
Til its dream no longer haunts you.
Til its fruit you no more seek.
Til it unclasps your hungry hold.